Beautiful Day

As usual, it has been awhile since i last updated you.

What is new in my life?

ALOT OF THINGS.

Almost everything in my life has been new.
I'm kindda going through a detox plan.
Glad to say it's working awesomely well.

Today we went to p.ubin.

After two months of no exercises, 5 hours of intensive cycling really seemed to kill me quite abit.
Not only that, seeing people feeding the wild animals is totally so not healthy. It really made my mood swing.

The quarry is the most beautiful place at ubin! The water is actually blue in colour!
The rocks and stones actually blend in beautifully together with the water and it is really a magnificent sight to behold, especially when the colour combination looks so great.

Dogs were all around us when we were having lunch and obviously, lunch was FANTASTIC. The fried kampong chicky and fried sotong really melts my heart and for once, I finished my lunch. Yummy-Yummmmm!!

The cycle to the other part of the island is the killer and it totally murdered me. I saw many hornbills today as well and I finally get to know that you can find white bellied sea eagles here in singapore.

We stayed till late. We slacked at the chalet, spending time playing volley and disturbing fishes in the lagoon. It great to spend quality private time together at such great ambiance places. The only turnoff: the unending amount of blood sucker, the mosquitoes.

I enjoyed my day alot though it is a rather physical tormenting one.
I wish to go there once more! =)

I AM GETTING SO BORED AT WORK... ARGH!!!!!!!!!!

This is seriously a killer. With me myself cooped up in my small room.

Headaches and weird stuffs will visit me here.

One more thing..

O ya, let's refresh my life together alright?

I need you with me.

Need you to help me.

=)

Guess this is for you.

Hey sweets,

I had been thinking about things lately while you're not here with me.

How people are against us. How much more I need to know about you.

I don't know, everything.

I am having lots of thoughts up my huge brain.

A lot of thoughts which I can't explain.

What I can conclude is that.

I care about you.

I want you safe.

I want you with me.

I want to know more about you.

Come back safe each time you go away alright?

I appreciate that.

Thank you.

The 2nd day

It is really funny how life actually takes you on a trip.

Up and down it goes, just like how a roller coaster takes you.

I don't know why am I feeling like how am I feeling now.

Now, I feel like going on a trip. Maybe for a month or so just to 'refresh' my life abit.

Keep all those wanted friends, banish all those who ain't worthy to be kept.

Just be by myself, maybe with him as well, but DEFINITELY not with my family.

Yesterday, someone hollered at me.

This is in regards to how I pushed the blame to him and stuffs like that.

Hmmm.

Well kiddo, I guess that's life.

I can't relate to you nor comment on anything that you said because it's purely not what I am expecting from a grown up man.

I am just purely speechless.

I don't appreciate name calling as well if you don't mind and you do know what I am sensitive to yet you just went on with it.

Your actions doesn't tally with your saintly talks anyway if you realise.

So, I don't know.

I'll just treat it as memories instead.


To him, Lord, please bless him and take care of him. It ain't fun to be in that kindda place. Amen.

I hate my future being revealed to me.

Ain't all these supposed to be part of life?

So as to be able to learn something out from it?

I hate my life.

It has already been revealed.

New start

This is a rather special month.

I've found a really unique one.

And I am really happy that things are looking so well as the time pass.

I know that he'll always be there for me whenever I need him. Except in his sleep.

Love you lots sweetheart.

The Single life

Life's rather packed now. Or rather, I shall assumed that it is packed.

I'm going out pretty often with different peeps, but somehow, I just kindda feel left out or outta place in a way.

Hmmm..

Maybe it is my way of adapting to my new lifestyle whereby I just gotta do everything by my own!

No one misses Bat anymore.
No one contacts Bat anymore.
No one wanna hang out with Bat anymore.

Gosh. I'm the whimpy old kid now.

I yearn for attention and love.

As always.

I cleared things up. I guessed things were awful and I was really afraid to face him or talk to him via phone.

Call me a bitch or heartless, things will just remain the way they are.

I don't know how to feel or what to feel.

I just know that things are over.

I am sorry.

I am going to begin this post by stating this is a rather random mood post. I'm just going to type whatever that is flowing through my mind


So what had become of us? Well, as usual, everything just went back to normal.

Things are taking a turn. That's for sure.

Chinese New Year was like fine.

Valentine's Day was like average.

I just like those days because I get to put make up, make up and more make up!

Tell me, which girl doesn't want to be pretty?! Ha!

Obviously there is always a downturn in every situation.

My nails broke. Well, most of them. I'M SO UPSET.

I'm having a freaking hard time to punch in the letters on my phone!!

I'm sick again. As usual. High and low fever due to just beer. PATHETIC beer. I'm having a phobia of alcohol now. It's so unlike me. I'm mutating to become a 100% pure bookworm.

Imagine me crawling through books with holes and that ever famous glasses.

I prefer to be a red worm. Maybe like an earthworm.

Put everything together...

WOW. It's disgusting to think about it. ha!


I'm sick of work. It's like never ending. I guess I'm just not efficient enough.


Alright, I guess I should head back to work now.


f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5!!!!

Is he still the one whom I think he was initially? I don't know anymore.

The end?

Today, I must say, is a fateful day. Things are happening in a weird order.

Work's totally smooth sailing now, as the days continued with me just being concerned over my own duties. My mum is finally talking to me ( or not ) as I went to evening mass yesterday with the whole family.

Something, on the other hand, is starting to crank up. My life where the roses were supposed to be sweet and where the honey flows.

Things started just as simple as a question regarding the activities for valentine's day.

He said prawning but I reckoned that it ain't romantic at all. After all, V day is for the romantics and the loves who are willing to receive the romance.

Out of curiosity, I asked him what's the most romantic thing he did with his ex gf. Dining in a hotel and carrying almost 50 heart shapes balloons walking down the street of town.

Wow. Amazing. I don't need those type of treatments anyway. However, I sulked. I'm upset why am I not the lucky one. I'm upset why are all our special occasions managed to pass by without any special remembrance to it.

I just felt unlucky and I needed him to know that. He fell into a moment of silence and started asking what do I actually want from him.

Well, I don't need money nor 24/7 attention. I just want a day ( or moment ) to just settle down in a stone / wood chair/ bench either on the beach or in a park, where both of us just have a nice drink from 7-11 and chatting about our daily lives.

I know maybe I am hostile or rude at times, but I guess he just received it in a misunderstood manner.

Things lead to him sending me home and arguing under my block.
He started yelling.
I can't take it.
I screamed.
I cried.
I wanted to go home.

With a forceful push, there I was, feeling all lonely and helpless, on the floor.

I was astonished at the fact that he actually used physical abuse to counter my behaviors.

He started yelling again.
I was angry.
I hated him.
I just wanted to go home.

After a moment of thinking, I decided to just walk to the lift and go up home.

He stopped, standing in between the doors, not allowing the doors to shut me up.

He started asking why.
Why do I want to end things.
Why am I always so full of myself.
Why Why Why.

I got frustrated, I yelled back saying I need to go home and he left.

Thinking back, I am wondering, am I a rotten apple which the society could easily gotten rid of?
I guess so.
I ain't that great as I thought I am.
I was the bad guy.

Till this moment, I still wonder why.
And most importantly, whether is he safe.
But, I guess some things are just still meant to kept in the heart unspoken.

February

Chinese New Year is fast approaching. Streets are already blasting their songs of good cheers and wishes. However, the music on my side is still monotonous.

Wishes of joy and luck were never my thing. It doesn't serve its purpose as it should be. In fact, I reckon that being practical is more of a good solution to any unforeseen problems.

If one were to get hired just because they worked in the zoo before ( thinking that they are fun and crazy ) and yet be demoted due to the fact that they can't fulfill the expectations the bosses had of a fun and crazy person, I feel that it is quite unjust.

But then again, life is always full of ups and downs. Just like a roller coaster. Though I still prefer the twists and turns rather than the ups and downs in the roller coaster ride.

Corn is doing a good job in keeping his promise. He is finally putting some bread on the table and being understanding when the need arises. He is happily working and ( hopefully ) stay on with the job.

Man is my tummy giving me problems tonight.

Guess I shall run to the loo then!

Ciao ciao!

The New Year

I haven't been updating my blog at all. Wonder isit because I am lazy or I am just plain busy.

Anyways! It is finally the New Year and I have just celebrated my birthday, or rather, passed my birthday without much celebrations.

However, I don't feel very excited nor happy for this new year.

I have a strong feeling that I am going to get booted out of my workplace. My boss is giving me some mixed signals and, well, it is affecting my mood quite abit.

Seriously, I wonder whether isit wise to seek my boss's view on this topic.

Will she answer me truthfully? Or will she just give me a random answer just to give me some satisfaction? hmmm...

Things between us have not been going on very smoothly.

I don't know why but he said I am changing and I feel that he is changing. Both of us are just too stubborn to give in to either one.

I don't know what is wrong actually. I just don't feel secure at all. I feel like I am on my own most of the times because he doesn't understand where I'm coming from.

He says he is changing. I hope he'll really do it.

I guess this is the period of feeling crappy for this year.

Merry xmas everyone!!!! =)

okie. i'll update say...

next wk?!

till then.. GOod nitey!!!

August's Entry

Alright alright, I had totally miss out July's entry. Well, I guess the mood just sets in today at work ( as usual ). I need to update my blog!!!

After attending an one day attachment in a childcare center, I just don't understand why do teachers have to speak to children in mandarin all day long. Isn't english supposed to be our first language? People there ain't as friendly as I though they'll be too. Toddlers are crying yet they told me to leave them alone. I was being evaluated by a secretary rather than the principle or english head. That was how much respect I earned from them.

Thus, Night safari is definitely a much better place to dive in rather than the childcare education line. This is all concluded from my own personal perspective.

School's starting in just a couple of weeks and I'm rather nervous about it. I haven't been studying for the past almost 2 years and I believe that the sudden increase of workload in school will definitely freak me out. I pray that the programmings involved will not cease the functionality of my body. =(.

However, I do look forward to starting school to a certain extent. Imagine all the learnings of designing will soon flow my brain and the feeling will be AWESOME! =)) Anyways, i do miss being a student. Being a student will just guarantee me more benefits.

Recently, my dear pokey just had a new brother! His name is Furby. I'll upload the pictures when I load them from the camera. They're so absolutely adorable! Pokey is a short coat while Furby is a long coat. Pokey is Furby's elder brother and both of them seek each other for comfort. With that fact, I am comforted.

I'm not sure why, but after he started working, he does gets pissed at times. I understand it must be due to the workload and stuffs, however, he just ain't the same as he was before. Maybe it's because I threw too much 'stunts' on him till he can't be bothered anymore. It became just part and parcel of life. At times, I'm getting into my depression mood but who will know anyway? I don't want to be weak thus I guess I just have to be nonchalant about it.

Okie, let me whine abit more.

I do not know how to solve the problem as I made him pissed due to small matters, eg. talking in a tone that is 'okie to me however it sounds like im unhappy with him'. He doesn't really try to make me as happy as he would in the past anymore. I believe the same applies to me. Feedback from his side states that I'm not as concerned as I were in the past.

Maybe I guess it's time to just let loose abit. Afterall, he is working in retail line and retail line = more partying, meeting lots of hot pretty girls, more late nights with friends and lesser time to accompany me.

The more I type, the more I feel like crap. Maybe to the extent of crying again? Ha. That's what i do most of the times anyway.

Man it's an emo entry.

Till then,
Toodies!

The Crazy Month

I have totally no time, or rather, am lazy to update my blog due to the fact that I am working daily due to the june holidays. =( what a sad life.

I am typing my inventory list and yawning away when a friend on msn asked about my blog. Thus, i remembered that i had not updated it at all. Great. What good memory I have now.

I got a guinea pig named Choco. He is fat, greedy, noisy and adorable. He only allow you to touch him if you were to have a piece of lettuce with you.

Spots the newt is as usual, as quiet as she can be. After adding the gravel to her tank, she wants to be out of the water as much as she can. She will act silly occasionally but she's still adorable. =)

A new pet shop had just opened behind the school and they have all these awesome dogs wandering about.

Man am i tired. =_="

I reeks of instant noodles smell and I want my off days so badly. =(

Mr Corny had finally gotten another job after his adventurous 2 days at cortina. Phew. =X

The fifth month.. and running

As I am updating my blog for the fifth month in the running, I am actually working on my ultra awesomely cute mini dinosaur theatre as well.

I have a T-rex, a purple Flying Pterodactyl Dinosaur and many trees and grass. All comes together with a huge baby diaper box.

Frankly speaking, I am really proud of my work. Okie, but it's only 50% done. =(


My Awesome working table



My Awesome Mini Theatre! ROAR!!!!!!


Well, work had been busy busy busy, as usual. Updating of website ar, do mailers ar, keep check of logistics ar, admin work ar.. man. driving me nuts. =_=". I just that people just don't really take notice of my talents in certain areas and tend to turn a deaf ear to it. However, of course it beats working at night safari , the place where all animals are either running away or playing with weird stuffies on stage.

AT LAST! My dear mr corny had found a job! YAYNESS. It definately means more free clothes from now on, maybe till the day when I earn 5k a month. Wahahahaha!

Okie, there's already a whole long list of things i want to do after you get your pay. We shall strike off the activities slowly one by one.

1. eat at Taos!
2. SHOPPING! MUST DO!
3. Sentosa!!
4. hmm.. Clubbing?
5. erm.. hmm.. More clothes?
6. prawning
7. go overseas!

And for myself.

1. New AWESOME hp
2. New averagely AWESOME mp3
3. More shoes, clothes, lingerie. whatever
4. tatttoooooooo!!
5. some secret animal on the loose
6. MOST imptly, lose some blob.

Well, besides all of those stuffs, i THINK im starting school in september at MDIS majoring in digital media. Finally, a MEDIA school. Or rather, a place where offer Degree in media studies. I am so sick of looking for schools to settle my huge arse in. (=_=")

And lastly, IM INTO LADY GAGA!! p-p-p-p-p poker bleahz!

The April Entry

Right now, I am sitting at my workplace, staring into blank space. Thus i decided to just update my blog.

I had been shopping during my off days and i just spent half of my pay just like that. I thought that was insane. I got a new toy for Duke and i think he hates it when i try to snatch from him. He'll actually will growl and try to bite me with his miserable teeth. Afterwards, I'll just leave it at the sink and my dear corny will actually pamper him and give him back the bone again. Seriously, this ain't gonna work out when we're training the dog!

I had actually quit from the pathetic night safari and went on with a children art school. I can actually teach from now on! Frankly speaking, it is exciting but when the date of the classes are nearing, i just hope that i won't have to teach. I kindda got a phobia about small kids not responsing ( which happens all the time ). Guess it's time to buy some sweets.

Well, after i got into this job, i really spend much lesser time with corny as compared to the past and he had been spending more time on his psp and his 2 new acquired 'gf'. i know it's silly to get jealous over this but i guess im just not used to it since i 'USED' to spend all my time with him. Ha! =X

One good thing is that both of our injuries are healing pretty quick and there ain't any serious complications, so that's good. I can't stop peeling the dead skin because they just amaze me! Thus, my patch of dead skin is pretty much clear up as compared to corny.

All in all baby, i still love you la you bloody idiot.

Alrighty then, it's time to head back to work. I just sweep the floor of my dead skin again. GROSS! ha.

Reply to Baby'C

Hey baby,

I finally saw what you meant by 'updating' my blog. Haha!

Those tag messages are sweet and, of course, I'm touched.

Same in my situation, you know that I am worried about the change in my working hours at eleen's place yet I have to leave the current place due to shitty reasons. But baby, you did assure me that things are going to work out fine too right? Well, people invented the handphone for a reason thus even though both of us are working, we can still stay in contact. However, I do realise that the times spent at your place will be much lesser and it also means lesser time with Duke and Pui Pui.

Though I am worried, but obviously, I think this should not really affect us that bad because this kind of situations will hit us eventually as I want to go back to studying and my parents want me to have a day job.

The fact that we can't imagine is because we meet each other daily! For 2 whole months! Which I think is awesome. =)

But don't worry, this minor obstacle will not affect us if we are willing to stay together. Don't forget what your granddad say man!

Alright, I'm heading to bed. Meeting you tomorrow too. Our last day of late night. LOL!

I'll update my monthly thingy soon.

Lights Out... ZZzz