The end?

Today, I must say, is a fateful day. Things are happening in a weird order.

Work's totally smooth sailing now, as the days continued with me just being concerned over my own duties. My mum is finally talking to me ( or not ) as I went to evening mass yesterday with the whole family.

Something, on the other hand, is starting to crank up. My life where the roses were supposed to be sweet and where the honey flows.

Things started just as simple as a question regarding the activities for valentine's day.

He said prawning but I reckoned that it ain't romantic at all. After all, V day is for the romantics and the loves who are willing to receive the romance.

Out of curiosity, I asked him what's the most romantic thing he did with his ex gf. Dining in a hotel and carrying almost 50 heart shapes balloons walking down the street of town.

Wow. Amazing. I don't need those type of treatments anyway. However, I sulked. I'm upset why am I not the lucky one. I'm upset why are all our special occasions managed to pass by without any special remembrance to it.

I just felt unlucky and I needed him to know that. He fell into a moment of silence and started asking what do I actually want from him.

Well, I don't need money nor 24/7 attention. I just want a day ( or moment ) to just settle down in a stone / wood chair/ bench either on the beach or in a park, where both of us just have a nice drink from 7-11 and chatting about our daily lives.

I know maybe I am hostile or rude at times, but I guess he just received it in a misunderstood manner.

Things lead to him sending me home and arguing under my block.
He started yelling.
I can't take it.
I screamed.
I cried.
I wanted to go home.

With a forceful push, there I was, feeling all lonely and helpless, on the floor.

I was astonished at the fact that he actually used physical abuse to counter my behaviors.

He started yelling again.
I was angry.
I hated him.
I just wanted to go home.

After a moment of thinking, I decided to just walk to the lift and go up home.

He stopped, standing in between the doors, not allowing the doors to shut me up.

He started asking why.
Why do I want to end things.
Why am I always so full of myself.
Why Why Why.

I got frustrated, I yelled back saying I need to go home and he left.

Thinking back, I am wondering, am I a rotten apple which the society could easily gotten rid of?
I guess so.
I ain't that great as I thought I am.
I was the bad guy.

Till this moment, I still wonder why.
And most importantly, whether is he safe.
But, I guess some things are just still meant to kept in the heart unspoken.