Beautiful Day

As usual, it has been awhile since i last updated you.

What is new in my life?

ALOT OF THINGS.

Almost everything in my life has been new.
I'm kindda going through a detox plan.
Glad to say it's working awesomely well.

Today we went to p.ubin.

After two months of no exercises, 5 hours of intensive cycling really seemed to kill me quite abit.
Not only that, seeing people feeding the wild animals is totally so not healthy. It really made my mood swing.

The quarry is the most beautiful place at ubin! The water is actually blue in colour!
The rocks and stones actually blend in beautifully together with the water and it is really a magnificent sight to behold, especially when the colour combination looks so great.

Dogs were all around us when we were having lunch and obviously, lunch was FANTASTIC. The fried kampong chicky and fried sotong really melts my heart and for once, I finished my lunch. Yummy-Yummmmm!!

The cycle to the other part of the island is the killer and it totally murdered me. I saw many hornbills today as well and I finally get to know that you can find white bellied sea eagles here in singapore.

We stayed till late. We slacked at the chalet, spending time playing volley and disturbing fishes in the lagoon. It great to spend quality private time together at such great ambiance places. The only turnoff: the unending amount of blood sucker, the mosquitoes.

I enjoyed my day alot though it is a rather physical tormenting one.
I wish to go there once more! =)

I AM GETTING SO BORED AT WORK... ARGH!!!!!!!!!!

This is seriously a killer. With me myself cooped up in my small room.

Headaches and weird stuffs will visit me here.

One more thing..

O ya, let's refresh my life together alright?

I need you with me.

Need you to help me.

=)

Guess this is for you.

Hey sweets,

I had been thinking about things lately while you're not here with me.

How people are against us. How much more I need to know about you.

I don't know, everything.

I am having lots of thoughts up my huge brain.

A lot of thoughts which I can't explain.

What I can conclude is that.

I care about you.

I want you safe.

I want you with me.

I want to know more about you.

Come back safe each time you go away alright?

I appreciate that.

Thank you.

The 2nd day

It is really funny how life actually takes you on a trip.

Up and down it goes, just like how a roller coaster takes you.

I don't know why am I feeling like how am I feeling now.

Now, I feel like going on a trip. Maybe for a month or so just to 'refresh' my life abit.

Keep all those wanted friends, banish all those who ain't worthy to be kept.

Just be by myself, maybe with him as well, but DEFINITELY not with my family.

Yesterday, someone hollered at me.

This is in regards to how I pushed the blame to him and stuffs like that.

Hmmm.

Well kiddo, I guess that's life.

I can't relate to you nor comment on anything that you said because it's purely not what I am expecting from a grown up man.

I am just purely speechless.

I don't appreciate name calling as well if you don't mind and you do know what I am sensitive to yet you just went on with it.

Your actions doesn't tally with your saintly talks anyway if you realise.

So, I don't know.

I'll just treat it as memories instead.


To him, Lord, please bless him and take care of him. It ain't fun to be in that kindda place. Amen.

I hate my future being revealed to me.

Ain't all these supposed to be part of life?

So as to be able to learn something out from it?

I hate my life.

It has already been revealed.

New start

This is a rather special month.

I've found a really unique one.

And I am really happy that things are looking so well as the time pass.

I know that he'll always be there for me whenever I need him. Except in his sleep.

Love you lots sweetheart.

The Single life

Life's rather packed now. Or rather, I shall assumed that it is packed.

I'm going out pretty often with different peeps, but somehow, I just kindda feel left out or outta place in a way.

Hmmm..

Maybe it is my way of adapting to my new lifestyle whereby I just gotta do everything by my own!

No one misses Bat anymore.
No one contacts Bat anymore.
No one wanna hang out with Bat anymore.

Gosh. I'm the whimpy old kid now.

I yearn for attention and love.

As always.

I cleared things up. I guessed things were awful and I was really afraid to face him or talk to him via phone.

Call me a bitch or heartless, things will just remain the way they are.

I don't know how to feel or what to feel.

I just know that things are over.

I am sorry.

I am going to begin this post by stating this is a rather random mood post. I'm just going to type whatever that is flowing through my mind


So what had become of us? Well, as usual, everything just went back to normal.

Things are taking a turn. That's for sure.

Chinese New Year was like fine.

Valentine's Day was like average.

I just like those days because I get to put make up, make up and more make up!

Tell me, which girl doesn't want to be pretty?! Ha!

Obviously there is always a downturn in every situation.

My nails broke. Well, most of them. I'M SO UPSET.

I'm having a freaking hard time to punch in the letters on my phone!!

I'm sick again. As usual. High and low fever due to just beer. PATHETIC beer. I'm having a phobia of alcohol now. It's so unlike me. I'm mutating to become a 100% pure bookworm.

Imagine me crawling through books with holes and that ever famous glasses.

I prefer to be a red worm. Maybe like an earthworm.

Put everything together...

WOW. It's disgusting to think about it. ha!


I'm sick of work. It's like never ending. I guess I'm just not efficient enough.


Alright, I guess I should head back to work now.


f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5!!!!

Is he still the one whom I think he was initially? I don't know anymore.

The end?

Today, I must say, is a fateful day. Things are happening in a weird order.

Work's totally smooth sailing now, as the days continued with me just being concerned over my own duties. My mum is finally talking to me ( or not ) as I went to evening mass yesterday with the whole family.

Something, on the other hand, is starting to crank up. My life where the roses were supposed to be sweet and where the honey flows.

Things started just as simple as a question regarding the activities for valentine's day.

He said prawning but I reckoned that it ain't romantic at all. After all, V day is for the romantics and the loves who are willing to receive the romance.

Out of curiosity, I asked him what's the most romantic thing he did with his ex gf. Dining in a hotel and carrying almost 50 heart shapes balloons walking down the street of town.

Wow. Amazing. I don't need those type of treatments anyway. However, I sulked. I'm upset why am I not the lucky one. I'm upset why are all our special occasions managed to pass by without any special remembrance to it.

I just felt unlucky and I needed him to know that. He fell into a moment of silence and started asking what do I actually want from him.

Well, I don't need money nor 24/7 attention. I just want a day ( or moment ) to just settle down in a stone / wood chair/ bench either on the beach or in a park, where both of us just have a nice drink from 7-11 and chatting about our daily lives.

I know maybe I am hostile or rude at times, but I guess he just received it in a misunderstood manner.

Things lead to him sending me home and arguing under my block.
He started yelling.
I can't take it.
I screamed.
I cried.
I wanted to go home.

With a forceful push, there I was, feeling all lonely and helpless, on the floor.

I was astonished at the fact that he actually used physical abuse to counter my behaviors.

He started yelling again.
I was angry.
I hated him.
I just wanted to go home.

After a moment of thinking, I decided to just walk to the lift and go up home.

He stopped, standing in between the doors, not allowing the doors to shut me up.

He started asking why.
Why do I want to end things.
Why am I always so full of myself.
Why Why Why.

I got frustrated, I yelled back saying I need to go home and he left.

Thinking back, I am wondering, am I a rotten apple which the society could easily gotten rid of?
I guess so.
I ain't that great as I thought I am.
I was the bad guy.

Till this moment, I still wonder why.
And most importantly, whether is he safe.
But, I guess some things are just still meant to kept in the heart unspoken.

February

Chinese New Year is fast approaching. Streets are already blasting their songs of good cheers and wishes. However, the music on my side is still monotonous.

Wishes of joy and luck were never my thing. It doesn't serve its purpose as it should be. In fact, I reckon that being practical is more of a good solution to any unforeseen problems.

If one were to get hired just because they worked in the zoo before ( thinking that they are fun and crazy ) and yet be demoted due to the fact that they can't fulfill the expectations the bosses had of a fun and crazy person, I feel that it is quite unjust.

But then again, life is always full of ups and downs. Just like a roller coaster. Though I still prefer the twists and turns rather than the ups and downs in the roller coaster ride.

Corn is doing a good job in keeping his promise. He is finally putting some bread on the table and being understanding when the need arises. He is happily working and ( hopefully ) stay on with the job.

Man is my tummy giving me problems tonight.

Guess I shall run to the loo then!

Ciao ciao!

The New Year

I haven't been updating my blog at all. Wonder isit because I am lazy or I am just plain busy.

Anyways! It is finally the New Year and I have just celebrated my birthday, or rather, passed my birthday without much celebrations.

However, I don't feel very excited nor happy for this new year.

I have a strong feeling that I am going to get booted out of my workplace. My boss is giving me some mixed signals and, well, it is affecting my mood quite abit.

Seriously, I wonder whether isit wise to seek my boss's view on this topic.

Will she answer me truthfully? Or will she just give me a random answer just to give me some satisfaction? hmmm...

Things between us have not been going on very smoothly.

I don't know why but he said I am changing and I feel that he is changing. Both of us are just too stubborn to give in to either one.

I don't know what is wrong actually. I just don't feel secure at all. I feel like I am on my own most of the times because he doesn't understand where I'm coming from.

He says he is changing. I hope he'll really do it.

I guess this is the period of feeling crappy for this year.